


Trying to Save You

by TheMaraudersGirl



Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2014-03-12
Updated: 2014-05-23
Packaged: 2018-01-15 10:40:14
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 4,296
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1301896
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/TheMaraudersGirl/pseuds/TheMaraudersGirl
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>After being gone for fourteen years Lena Fairheart comes home, much the surprise of her old friends in the Order.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Coming Home

**Author's Note:**

> I do not own Harry Potter or any of the related character, places, etc.

She was standing outside of Number 11 Grimmauld Place, wondering how Dumbledore had convinced her to come back. Fourteen years was a very long time, everyone had probably forgotten her by now. She waited patiently for Dumbledore, knowing she couldn’t get in without another Order member. When he appeared beside her he smiled at her and walked forward as Number 12 began to push the houses surrounding it aside. They had chosen this night because very few members would be here, and the ones that would be here were the ones that would, hopefully, remember her.

“Are you ready?” Dumbledore asked as he approached the door.

“As I’ll ever be,” she answered pulling on her Muggle jacket.

She followed him through the house until they reached the door to the kitchen. Dumbledore touched her arm reassuringly, and she gave a grateful smile. Then he pushed the kitchen door open. Everyone was surprised to see Dumbledore and this unexpected visitor as they were in the middle of dinner. Her heart ached when she saw Harry; she wanted nothing more than to run to him and hold him, like she had when he was a baby. The twins had grown up like weeds. She remembered babysitting them when they were hardly old enough to talk. Ron was just a baby last time she saw him, and it seemed he had a younger sister.

‘How time flies,’ she thought to herself.

“Professor, we weren't expecting you and your guest.” Molly said slightly confused, “Let me get you to some plates.” Molly made a move to go to the kitchen.

“Thank you, Molly, but I was just here to make sure that Miss Fairheart arrived safely, Now that I see that she is in your very capable hands I will leave you all to catch up,” Dumbledore said gesturing for Molly to sit down as he left.

All of the eyes in the room were now locked on her. She was unsure how to break the ice, but Mr. Weasley did that for her.

“Fairheart? Lena Fairheart?”

“Yes, sir, the one and only,” Lena replied, “Molly, Arthur, your children have grown up so much.”

Molly rushed over and hugged her, gripping her tightly as if hoping that would solidify the fact that Lena was really there.

“We thought you were gone, that the Death Eaters got you. We were so worried. I’m so glad that you’re finally home,” Molly cried tears streaming.

“I wanted to tell you all so badly, but Dumbledore made me swear I wouldn’t. I had to keep my mission a secret to protect everyone, but we never realized that it would take fourteen years,” Lena said.

Molly wiped the tears from Lena’s face. She had missed all of them so much.

“I’m sorry but who are you?” Harry asked.

“Right, sorry. I’m Lena Fairheart. I went to school with your parents, Sirius, Remus, and Peter. I was Lily’s best friend. I’m also your godmother. Oh Harry, I’m so glad to see you again,” Lena said.

Harry looked to Sirius, who was avoiding looking at Lena, who nodded that she was telling the truth. Harry, confused, looked at the both of them and he asked the question that Lena knew was coming.

“So you and Sirius were married?”  
  
Lena suppressed a smile, “No, love, we were dating and that coupled with the fact that we were your parents’ best friends, it just made sense that we were named your godparents.”

She looked at Remus for the first time since she walked in. Her heart broke; he looked tired and half dead. Remus smiled when he saw her staring. His smile had not changed at all and made him look years younger. She smiled back and rushed to him, hugging him tightly. He stroked her hair.

“I missed you, Moony,” Lena said as she pulled away, wiping her eyes.

“I missed you too, Lena,” he smiled.

She looked, really looked, at Sirius for the first time since she entered the kitchen. Her heart broke into a thousand pieces; he had aged so much in the last fourteen years that he hardly looked like the same man. There was grey streaking his black hair; his eyes no longer held any spark or mischief. He was not looking at her, and to her knowledge he had not all night. She took a deep breath and sat beside him. It was then that she realized that they were the only three in the room.

“I’m so sorry, Sirius. I wanted so badly to tell you, but Dumbledore didn’t want to risk anyone knowing where I was going or what I was doing. We both knew it was going to be dangerous, and we didn’t want to risk anyone else’s lives,” she stopped for a moment hoping that he would say something to her. After a moment he took a deep breath and began to speak.

“The last time I saw you, you were being consumed by Fiendfyre. You had been rooted to the ground by a spell and we couldn’t get to you because you were surrounded by Dark Magic. James and I tried everything we could to save you, but nothing we tried worked. You were screaming for help, but when you saw that we were doing everything we could, you stopped, trying to be brave. I could see the pain in your eyes, the tears rolling down your face because you knew what was coming. You looked and saw the fyre; you turned back to us, to see us one more time. Then the fyre hit you, and you couldn’t stop yourself from screaming. You called my name and I could hear the tears in your voice. Then you were gone, just a pile of ash were you had been standing. You were dead and it was my fault because I couldn’t protect you. Now you come back, a lifetime later, like nothing ever happened, saying you’re sorry and you never wrote because Dumbledore said you couldn’t.” he smirked darkly, “Sorry isn’t going to change anything.”

Then he left the room without another word. Lena had tears falling from her cheeks in rivers. She had known this was not going to be easy, but the pure hate in his voice had shocked her. She felt someone put their arm around her shoulders. She turned and Remus was holding her as she cried.

“Don’t worry Lena, he’ll come around. This is just a lot to take in all at once. We really thought you were dead. Sirius took it worse than we expected: he never really moved past it,” Remus said as he stroked her hair.

“Why can everyone else accept it though? You didn’t seem to hate me for doing my job. I didn’t want to go, but I was the only person who could do it. It wasn’t my fault!” she cried.

Remus just looked at her. There was nothing he could say to comfort her because he did not really believe that Sirius would forgive her, so all he could do was hold Lena as she cried. After a while Lena stopped crying and regained her composure, and Remus suggested she go to bed.

“No, I’d like to talk to Sirius again. Where would he be?”

Remus sighed knowing it was useless to fight her now that her mind was made up.

“Try the den upstairs.”

She nodded and went to find he den. When she found it she heard Harry and Sirius talking. She knew it was wrong but she stood outside and listen to them.

“Are you happy that woman is back?” Harry asked.

“Lena? I’m not sure I spent so much time thinking that she was gone that I don’t really know how to feel about it yet,” Sirius answered.

“Was she really my mother’s best friend and is she really my godmother? She looks like she should still be in school. How can she be your age?” Harry asked perplexed.

Lena almost laughed because she knew that Sirius had seen the changes that she doubted anyone else had.

“Believe me she had aged. Her hair is lighter now, and her skin is starting to wrinkle around her eyes and lips. But her eyes have changed the most. They used to shine and sparkle like diamonds; now they are dull and hazy. Yes, she is my Lena, and believe me Lily and Lena were inseparable from first year. She was great with you when you were a baby, and you loved her. If she was around no one else was able to hold you because you would cry. It was so hard to believe that she was gone that James and Lily never renamed your godmother. None of us really knew what to do. She was the first one who we were very close to who died, and now she’s back,” Sirius sighed.

Lena knew that she needed to walk in now before she was discovered.

“What was she doing for the Order that took so long?” Harry wondered, seeming to understand that Sirius did not know.

“I was supposed to locate something of Voldemort’s in Albania. It was only supposed to take a few weeks. Then the Death Eaters heard that we were looking for something, and they found out I was the one who would be able to locate it. So, they set out to kill me, and they very nearly succeed with the Fiendfyre. Dumbledore was barely able to protect me from dying there. When he saw that I was saved and believed dead I started my journey. I never found what I was looking for because the Death Eaters found me. I was taken to Voldemort and tortured for a very long time. I only gave up one secret and it was probably what saved me from actually dying fourteen years ago: I’m a Seer. So, Voldemort had me placed under the Imperius Curse, and I told all of my visions to him. The only one I was able to keep secret was the vision I had of Harry surviving. I told Voldemort that he won. When he never returned I was kept under the spell acting at the whims of the Malfoys. I slowly was able to fight the Curse and have my free will. I was under the Curse for nearly ten years before I totally had my free will back, and it wasn’t for lack of trying. The Malfoys always switched casters if they saw I was breaking free so it was harder every time, but I did eventually win. I’m not sure how I escaped or how Dumbledore found me. The first thing I remember after getting my will back was waking up in Saint Mungo’s. Dumbledore told me what happened, and I was to stay in the hospital until all ill effects of the Curse were gone. It took nearly four years, and that’s where we are now,” Lena explained.

She was leaning against the door, and looked at Harry who seemed positively astonished. Sirius, however, looked as if he had been hit in the stomach with a bludger. Harry quietly left the room when Sirius went up to Lena and embraced her so passionately that Lena felt like she was back in school. She had not expected to tell Sirius this way but it was all the same now.

“Lena, I am so sorry,” was all Sirius could get out.

The look on his face said everything that he could not find the words for. Lena merely smiled and hugged him tightly. She knew that she still had more to explain, like the reason she chose to show up now just after Christmas, but she thought it could wait until tomorrow. Sirius was still just looking at her. After a few moments of him just staring he finally came back to his senses and showed her to her room so she could sleep. He offered to share his room, and as badly as Lena wanted that she wanted to figure out how to tell everyone what she had seen that sent her to Dumbledore in a frenzy. Sirius kissed her forehead and went to his room. Now, sitting alone in the darkness, Lena wanted nothing more than to put tomorrow off, but she knew that if she did most of the people sitting downstairs would never get to spend another Christmas with their families.


	2. The Vision

When Lena woke up the next morning, it took few moments for her to remember where she was. The bed here was much more comfortable than the one at Saint Mungo's, and she found herself fighting to get up. This fight was not only because of the bed but because of the tremendous weight of what getting up would bring. Today the children were off to Hogwarts again, and she would have to tell the others about her vision. Knowing that no matter what she would have to tell them, Lena got up and began to dress. As she finished tugging on her jeans there was a knock at her door.

“Can I come in, Love?” Sirius asked.

Lena giggled slightly as she opened the door.

“Of course,” she smiled.

“We are getting ready to leave for King's Cross. Would you like to come with us?” Sirius asked.

As he leaned against the doorway, Lena could not help but think of how much younger Sirius looked and how that reminded her of her days at school.

“We?”

As a way of answering her, Sirius changed into a large black dog.

“Of course, how could I have forgotten, Padfoot?” she laughed, bending down to rub his head.

Sirius barked happily and licked her face. Lena playfully swatted at Sirius, who in turn grabbed the shirt off of her bed and ran from the room with it.

“Sirius!” Lena shouted, as she put her jacket on over her pajama top and rushed after him.

She saw Remus looking very confused at Sirius, who had now transformed back to his human self.

“I thought you got over stealing girls' clothing at school,” Remus said, vaguely disappointed.

“Lena was always the exception,” Sirius laughed.

“Gee, I'm so flattered,” Lena replied rolling her eyes and snatching her shirt back.

Remus and Sirius laughed as Lena marched back to her room to finish dressing. A few moments later Lena joined the party downstairs. Mad-Eye and Shacklebolt were there; it had been a long time since she had seen them, but they had clearly been informed of her presence, most likely by Dumbledore, because neither of them seemed surprised by her.

“Good to see you alive, Lena.” Mad-Eye grunted, “Though we could have used you more here than where ever Dumbledore tried to put you.”

“Thanks, Mad-Eye. I missed you too,” Lena sighed.

Shacklebolt said nothing just nodded to her. After Molly made sure that everyone had eaten, something Lena was grateful for, the group left for the train.  
They arrived at King's Cross, and Sirius, as a dog, was the first out of the car. When they got to the station Sirius vanished into an empty room, where Harry followed him. Lena tried, but Mad-Eye barred her way.

“Is there a problem, Mad-Eye?” Lena asked slightly annoyed.

“I just wanted to say that I'm sorry for what happened to you. There are very few people I would wish that on, and you aren't one of them. I'm glad your back. We'll have need of your talents soon enough,” Moody said.

“Well this is quite out of character of you Mad-Eye, but thank you,” Lena replied, not knowing what else to say.

He merely nodded and Sirius and Harry walked out of the room. Lena felt very sick from Mad-Eye's comment, and she wondered how she would get through the next few hours. Sirius must have sensed how she felt because he whimpered slightly and nudged her leg with his head. She smiled and rubbed his head reassuringly. As the train pulled away she waved, remembering all times she had rode the Hogwarts Express. After the train was gone the long road home began, and the closer Lena got to having to explain her sudden reappearance.

When they arrived back at Headquarters, they all gathered around the table.

“Lena, Dumbledore told us that you had important news for us. You had a vision that Dumbledore found extremely troubling,” Shacklebolt said.

She took a deep breath as she prepared to tell them.

“I did, and this vision was the reason I decided to come back. I've been telling Dumbledore what I have seen since he found me, but I felt that with what I have seen this time I needed to come home. The only thing I ask is that no one interrupts me because this will be hard to get through without distractions.”

Everyone nodded and looked expectantly at Lena.

“I saw the end of the war, but it came sooner and at a higher cost than the first war. Harry is going to the Ministry to fetch the prophecy for Voldemort...”

“How do you know about the prophecy?” Mad-Eye barked.

“I'm a Seer, Mad-Eye, and Dumbledore consulted me about Trelawney's prophecy because he knew I would have seen something similar and more powerful than what Trelawney saw because of my closeness to James and Lily and to Frank and Alice.” Lena answered calmly before continuing, “When Harry had the prophecy Lucius Malfoy grabbed Harry and disapparated to Voldemort. Malfoy left the other children who were with Harry with the Death Eaters. The children were used as a trap to get the Order to the Ministry. When you all arrived, the children were under the Imperius Curse and the Death Eaters had disappeared. My vision was not clear where they were. That's when the children started to attack you, but you wouldn't attack them because you wanted to save them. They were relentless, and by the time Dumbledore and the Minister arrived the Death Eaters were back and attacking you and the children, but you were all mostly horribly injured.”

She had stuttered and quivered throughout her retelling, and now she took a moment to breathe and wipe the tears from her eyes. She wanted to look around the table, but she couldn't bring herself too. On her left Remus stroked her back, reassuring her, and on her right Sirius held her hand tightly.  
Shakily she continued, “The children and those injured were taken to Saint Mungo's. Harry was worse off. Voldemort now had what he wanted. So he killed Harry, and he became more powerful now than the first time around.”

When she finished Lena was shaking from trying not to break down. She looked around the table now and saw grave faces staring back: Arthur and Molly were holding each other, Mad-Eye was nodding, and Remus was staring down at the table. She could not bring herself to look at Sirius because he had died in her vision, killed by his cousin Bellatrix. The silence was uncomfortable and filled with grief. Finally, she could no longer hold back her tears and fled to her bedroom. She locked the door behind her and slid down the wall, sobbing. Lena couldn't bring herself to do anything besides cry. She hated to tell the people downstairs, people she loved, that they were doomed, but she could not stand idly by as her friends died. She could hear them talking downstairs, trying to come up with a plan on how to prevent what Lena saw. She wanted to help, but she had yet to come up with a plan. After about an hour, she had stopped crying and went to wash her face, when there was a knock on her door. She cast a spell to unlock and open her door. She turned and saw Sirius looking uncharacteristically worried .

“Sirius, what's wrong?” she asked walking toward him.

“So who doesn't make it out of the Ministry? I know you would come back for Harry, but we both know there is another motivation here,” he asked looking at her now.

She wanted desperately to lie to him, tell him that she was only there for Harry, but she knew from his demeanor that Sirius was not going to let this go . She took a deep breath before she nodded, not trusting herself to speak. He looked at her and nodded before he pulled her into a bone crushing hug. Lena was overwhelmed with emotion and started to cry again.

“None of that, Lena,” Sirius whispered into her hair.

“I know it’s selfish, but I had to at least try to change what I saw. I...I couldn't just le...let you...” Lena was unable to finish her thought through her tears.

“I know. I really do because I tried to do the same from James and Lily. When I found out that Peter was the snitch I got to Godric's Hollow as fast as I could, and I know you would have done same had you not been on a mission,” Sirius lulled.

They stood there, clinging to each other, for as long as they could. Lena had never felt this helpless before, and yet she did not want to tell Sirius that because it had not been completely her decision to return to the Order. When she told Dumbledore about her vision and told him to warn the others; she had not intended to become an Order member again. She had merely wanted him to relay the message, but once she saw Sirius die, Dumbledore had talked her into coming back because he believed it would help save Sirius.

“I have to try and save you. I can't let you...” Lena sobbed into Sirius's chest.

“So it is me that dies, Love?” Sirius whispered.

Lena could not answer, her stomach knotting and she felt like she was going to vomit when she heard the words leave his mouth. She felt something fall on her head and looked up at Sirius. What she saw broke her heart; Sirius was crying silently while he was holding her. She leaned up and kissed his cheek. She wanted to do more to comfort him, but she did not know else to do. When she went to move her head back to his chest, he moved her face to look at him.

“Tell me, Love, I am one of the ones who don’t make it out?” Sirius asked.

The way he looked at her made her heart leap and sink at the same time. Now she could not escape the question.  
“Yes, you d…die at the Ministry. B…bellatrix k…kills you. She wa…was attac…attacking one of the children and y…yo…you put yours…elf…”

Lena was not able to finish through her tears, and she clutched Sirius tighter. She felt that if she let Sirius go he would die right then. He rubbed her back, trying to calm her down. The irony of him comforting her was not lost to Lena; he was the one facing death and he was being strong and comforting her. When she thought about it, however, it made sense because he had always been a rock for her, but now she wanted to try and give him a rock in her. She pulled away from Sirius, and held his hands in hers, not able to totally let him go. He looked startled but did not say anything as he felt the warm pressure of her hands on his.

“I'm sorry,” Lena whispered.

“For what, my love? You aren't the one that kills me,” Sirius chuckled, trying to make her feel better.

“I mean I'm sorry because I just broke down, and you are standing here trying to be strong because I can't be strong for you,” Lena answered, glossing over the joke.

“Lena, how many times have you lived that nightmare ? I have yet to live it, so for me I have to believe that you are wrong. Normally I would never doubt your sight but I can't believe that I will die because otherwise I will go crazy. So, it is easier to assume that we will find a way to stop my death, and the harm to the others,” Sirius replied.

“But you were crying! Don't tell me you aren't scared,” Lena rebuked.

“I was crying because you were so distressed, and it hurts to see you this way. Honestly, I came to terms with my death a long time ago. I'm not afraid of dying, what I'm afraid of is what I will leave behind, but as for death, I came to terms with that when I was locked in Azkaban and again two years ago when I was at Hogwarts. So, please, Lena, don't worry about me,” Sirius begged.

Lena just looked at him, not knowing what to say. Sirius smirked at the confused look on her face and kissed her forehead. They heard Mrs. Weasley call everyone to dinner. Lena let go of Sirius's hands.

“Go to dinner, Sirius. I think I'm just going to go to bed.”

“I'm not very hungry honestly,” Sirius answered.

“Well you are more than welcome to keep me company, just no funny business,” Lena smiled.

“I'm offended. I'm nothing if not the perfect gentleman,” Sirius said in mock offense.

Lena laughed and once again saw the Sirius she had known in school, and she felt like she was in school as well. The worrying could wait for a night or two. She was looking forward to being with Sirius for the first time since she had arrived back, and from the smile on Sirius's face she could tell he was happy as well.


End file.
